diff --git a/apps/web/public/miners/boomer-heater.svg b/apps/web/public/miners/boomer-heater.svg
index 5db3115..4bb0542 100644
--- a/apps/web/public/miners/boomer-heater.svg
+++ b/apps/web/public/miners/boomer-heater.svg
@@ -6,7 +6,7 @@
     <path d="M116 142c-18-28 18-36 0-64M160 142c-18-28 18-36 0-64M204 142c-18-28 18-36 0-64" fill="none" stroke="#ff8a4f" stroke-width="8" stroke-linecap="round"/>
     <path d="M90 180h140" stroke="#475569" stroke-width="10" stroke-linecap="round"/>
     <circle cx="224" cy="58" r="9" fill="#6a7aa0"/>
-    <text x="160" y="205" text-anchor="middle" fill="#6a7aa0" font-family="monospace" font-size="15" font-weight="700">NO HASHES. JUST HEAT.</text>
+    <text x="160" y="205" text-anchor="middle" fill="#6a7aa0" font-family="monospace" font-size="15" font-weight="700">NO HASHES. JUST GAY.</text>
   </g>
   <defs><filter id="g"><feDropShadow dx="0" dy="8" stdDeviation="8" flood-color="#000" flood-opacity=".55"/></filter></defs>
 </svg>
diff --git a/apps/web/src/components/MinerRace.vue b/apps/web/src/components/MinerRace.vue
index 241bca4..9ca0b19 100644
--- a/apps/web/src/components/MinerRace.vue
+++ b/apps/web/src/components/MinerRace.vue
@@ -38,7 +38,7 @@ const rows = computed(() => {
       width: 0,
       trend: 0,
       place: realRows.length + 1,
-      joke: "0 TH/s · 0 shares · 0 sats · just vibes and a pension.",
+      joke: "0 TH/s · 0 shares · 0 sats · just fiat and a pension.",
     },
   ];
 });
diff --git a/apps/web/src/views/DashboardView.vue b/apps/web/src/views/DashboardView.vue
index 43621b8..61be112 100644
--- a/apps/web/src/views/DashboardView.vue
+++ b/apps/web/src/views/DashboardView.vue
@@ -34,6 +34,27 @@ const bestWorkByMiner = computed(() => {
   return out;
 });
 const poolBestWork = computed(() => Math.max(0, ...Object.values(bestWorkByMiner.value)));
+const boomerHeater = {
+  authUsername: "fiat.heat",
+  remoteHost: "wall-socket",
+  nickname: "Boomer Heater",
+  model: "Legacy Resistance Heater",
+  location: "The Past",
+  expectedHashrateThs: 0,
+  watts: 2000,
+  hashrateThs: 0,
+  hashrateAgeS: null,
+  lastShareAgeS: null,
+  diffAcceptedSum: 0,
+  diffAcceptedCount: 0,
+  diffRejectedSum: 0,
+  diffRejectedCount: 0,
+  rejectPct: 0,
+  vdiff: 0,
+  userAgent: "CentralHeating/fiat-only",
+  subscribed: false,
+  status: "idle",
+} as const;
 
 function minerKey(m: { nickname: string; authUsername: string; remoteHost: string }): string {
   return m.nickname || m.authUsername || m.remoteHost;
@@ -76,6 +97,11 @@ function minerKey(m: { nickname: string; authUsername: string; remoteHost: strin
       :miner="m"
       :best-work="bestWorkByMiner[minerKey(m)]"
     />
+    <MinerCard
+      key="boomer-heater"
+      :miner="boomerHeater"
+      :best-work="0"
+    />
     <div v-if="!miners.length && !errorMsg" class="empty panel muted">
       waiting for the first poll · the boards are warming up
     </div>