diff --git a/apps/web/src/chatStickers.ts b/apps/web/src/chatStickers.ts
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..fe2d9b0
--- /dev/null
+++ b/apps/web/src/chatStickers.ts
@@ -0,0 +1,39 @@
+export type ChatSticker = {
+  label: string;
+  text: string;
+};
+
+export const STICKER_PREFIX = "[gashboard sticker]";
+
+export const CHAT_STICKERS: ChatSticker[] = [
+  { label: "fiat heater", text: "FIAT HEATER DETECTED: warm room, cold wallet." },
+  { label: "no hashes", text: "NO HASHES. JUST GHEI. just fiat and a pension." },
+  { label: "cope block", text: "BLOCK FOUND: not by us, obviously. carry on pretending." },
+  { label: "desk miner", text: "DESK MINER ENERGY: tiny fan, enormous delusion." },
+  { label: "pool bully", text: "BIG POOL ENTERED CHAT: scaled up to not shame the children." },
+  { label: "paper hands", text: "PAPER HANDS, PLASTIC HEATER, ZERO SATS." },
+  { label: "nonce cult", text: "NONCE CULT MEETING: attendance low, conviction insane." },
+  { label: "fiat friend", text: "YOUR FIAT FRIEND THINKS THE HEATER IS AN INVESTMENT." },
+  { label: "warm tonight", text: "SOMEONE'S GETTING WARMED TONIGHT. maybe not paid." },
+  { label: "difficulty", text: "DIFFICULTY ADJUSTMENT: reality filed another complaint." },
+  { label: "best calc", text: "BEST CALC: almost important, spiritually devastating." },
+  { label: "hash high", text: "HASHRATE UP. ODDS STILL NEED A TELESCOPE." },
+  { label: "pension", text: "JUST FIAT AND A PENSION: the saddest proof-of-warmth." },
+  { label: "sovereign", text: "SOVEREIGN MINER: no block, no boss, no apology." },
+  { label: "amber", text: "SIGNED BY A REAL SIGNER, UNLIKE YOUR BOOMER'S DIRECT DEBIT." },
+  { label: "mempool", text: "MEMPOOL SAYS NO. DASHBOARD SAYS LOL." },
+  { label: "reject", text: "REJECTED SHARE: even the server had standards." },
+  { label: "bigpapa", text: "BIGPAPA IS WATCHING. probably collecting fuck all." },
+  { label: "lottery", text: "SOLO LOTTERY TICKET PURCHASED WITH ELECTRICITY AND DENIAL." },
+  { label: "fiat people", text: "FIAT PEOPLE SEE A HEATER. MINERS SEE A COWARD." },
+];
+
+export function stickerContent(sticker: ChatSticker): string {
+  return `${STICKER_PREFIX} ${sticker.text}`;
+}
+
+export function unsticker(content: string): string | null {
+  return content.startsWith(`${STICKER_PREFIX} `)
+    ? content.slice(STICKER_PREFIX.length + 1)
+    : null;
+}
diff --git a/apps/web/src/components/ChatDrawer.vue b/apps/web/src/components/ChatDrawer.vue
index b2569f1..8a79d01 100644
--- a/apps/web/src/components/ChatDrawer.vue
+++ b/apps/web/src/components/ChatDrawer.vue
@@ -3,6 +3,7 @@ import { computed, nextTick, onMounted, onUnmounted, ref, watch } from "vue";
 import { useAuthStore } from "../stores/auth";
 import * as chat from "../services/chat";
 import type { ChatMessage, ChatProfile } from "../services/chat";
+import { CHAT_STICKERS, stickerContent, unsticker, type ChatSticker } from "../chatStickers";
 
 const props = defineProps<{ open: boolean }>();
 const emit = defineEmits<{ close: [] }>();
@@ -13,6 +14,7 @@ const profiles = ref<Record<string, ChatProfile>>({});
 const draft = ref("");
 const error = ref("");
 const loading = ref(false);
+const showStickers = ref(false);
 const listEl = ref<HTMLElement | null>(null);
 let sub: { close: () => void } | null = null;
 
@@ -81,11 +83,20 @@ async function loadMissingProfiles(): Promise<void> {
 async function send(): Promise<void> {
   const content = draft.value.trim();
   if (!content) return;
+  await sendContent(content);
+  draft.value = "";
+}
+
+async function sendSticker(sticker: ChatSticker): Promise<void> {
+  await sendContent(stickerContent(sticker));
+  showStickers.value = false;
+}
+
+async function sendContent(content: string): Promise<void> {
   error.value = "";
   try {
     const message = await chat.sendChat(content);
     if (!messages.value.some((m) => m.id === message.id)) messages.value.push(message);
-    draft.value = "";
     await loadMissingProfiles();
     await scrollBottom();
   } catch (e) {
@@ -101,6 +112,10 @@ function timeLabel(ts: number): string {
   return new Date(ts * 1000).toLocaleTimeString([], { hour: "2-digit", minute: "2-digit" });
 }
 
+function stickerText(content: string): string | null {
+  return unsticker(content);
+}
+
 async function scrollBottom(): Promise<void> {
   await nextTick();
   if (listEl.value) listEl.value.scrollTop = listEl.value.scrollHeight;
@@ -138,12 +153,35 @@ async function scrollBottom(): Promise<void> {
             <strong>{{ profile(message.pubkey).name }}</strong>
             <span>{{ timeLabel(message.createdAt) }}</span>
           </div>
-          <p>{{ message.content }}</p>
+          <p v-if="!stickerText(message.content)">{{ message.content }}</p>
+          <p v-else class="sticker">{{ stickerText(message.content) }}</p>
         </div>
       </article>
     </div>
 
     <form class="composer" @submit.prevent="send">
+      <div class="composer-tools">
+        <button
+          type="button"
+          class="thin"
+          :disabled="!canSend"
+          @click="showStickers = !showStickers"
+        >
+          stickers
+        </button>
+        <span class="muted">{{ CHAT_STICKERS.length }} signed insults ready</span>
+      </div>
+      <div v-if="showStickers" class="sticker-tray">
+        <button
+          v-for="sticker in CHAT_STICKERS"
+          :key="sticker.label"
+          type="button"
+          :disabled="!canSend"
+          @click="sendSticker(sticker)"
+        >
+          {{ sticker.label }}
+        </button>
+      </div>
       <textarea
         v-model="draft"
         :disabled="!canSend"
@@ -278,12 +316,53 @@ p {
   overflow-wrap: anywhere;
   font-size: 12px;
 }
+p.sticker {
+  border: 1px solid var(--neon-magenta);
+  color: var(--neon-amber);
+  padding: 10px;
+  font-size: 13px;
+  line-height: 1.35;
+  text-transform: uppercase;
+  box-shadow: inset 0 0 18px rgba(255, 61, 240, 0.08);
+}
 .composer {
   display: grid;
   grid-template-columns: minmax(0, 1fr) 64px;
   gap: 8px;
   align-items: start;
 }
+.composer-tools,
+.sticker-tray {
+  grid-column: 1 / -1;
+}
+.composer-tools {
+  display: flex;
+  justify-content: space-between;
+  gap: 10px;
+  align-items: center;
+}
+.composer-tools span {
+  font-size: 10px;
+  text-align: right;
+}
+.sticker-tray {
+  display: grid;
+  grid-template-columns: repeat(2, minmax(0, 1fr));
+  gap: 6px;
+  max-height: 132px;
+  overflow: auto;
+  padding: 8px;
+  border: 1px solid var(--line);
+  background: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0.025);
+}
+.sticker-tray button {
+  min-width: 0;
+  padding: 7px 8px;
+  color: var(--neon-amber);
+  border-color: var(--line-bright);
+  font-size: 10px;
+  overflow-wrap: anywhere;
+}
 textarea {
   height: 58px;
   min-height: 58px;
diff --git a/apps/web/src/services/signer.ts b/apps/web/src/services/signer.ts
index 9e591e8..d33b298 100644
--- a/apps/web/src/services/signer.ts
+++ b/apps/web/src/services/signer.ts
@@ -5,6 +5,7 @@
 import type { Event as NostrEvent, EventTemplate } from "nostr-tools";
 import type { Filter } from "nostr-tools/filter";
 import { SimplePool } from "nostr-tools/pool";
+import { readonly, ref } from "vue";
 
 export type SignerKind = "extension" | "bunker";
 
@@ -14,31 +15,33 @@ export type Signer = {
   signEvent(template: EventTemplate): Promise<NostrEvent>;
 };
 
-let activeSigner: Signer | null = null;
+const activeSigner = ref<Signer | null>(null);
 const NOSTR_CONNECT_RELAYS = ["wss://relay.primal.net"];
 const NOSTR_CONNECT_TIMEOUT_MS = 120_000;
 const NOSTR_CONNECT_PENDING_KEY = "gashboard.nostrconnect.pending";
 const pool = new SimplePool();
 
 export function getActiveSigner(): Signer | null {
-  return activeSigner;
+  return activeSigner.value;
 }
 
 export function hasActiveSigner(): boolean {
-  return activeSigner !== null;
+  return activeSigner.value !== null;
 }
 
 export function clearSigner(): void {
-  activeSigner = null;
+  activeSigner.value = null;
 }
 
+export const activeSignerState = readonly(activeSigner);
+
 export async function loginWithExtension(): Promise<string> {
   if (!window.nostr) {
     throw new Error("No NIP-07 extension found. Try Alby, nos2x, or Primal extension.");
   }
   const ext = window.nostr;
   const pubkey = await ext.getPublicKey();
-  activeSigner = {
+  activeSigner.value = {
     kind: "extension",
     getPublicKey: async () => pubkey,
     signEvent: async (template: EventTemplate) =>
@@ -68,7 +71,7 @@ export async function loginWithBunker(bunkerUri: string): Promise<string> {
   }
   const signer = await fromUri.call(Ctor, bunkerUri);
   const pubkey: string = await signer.getPublicKey();
-  activeSigner = {
+  activeSigner.value = {
     kind: "bunker",
     getPublicKey: async () => pubkey,
     signEvent: async (template: EventTemplate) =>
@@ -140,7 +143,7 @@ async function connectRemoteApp(opts: { openApp: boolean }): Promise<string> {
     await signer.waitForSigner(abort.signal);
     if (!signer.remote) throw new Error("Remote signer did not complete the connection");
     const pubkey: string = await signer.getPublicKey();
-    activeSigner = {
+    activeSigner.value = {
       kind: "bunker",
       getPublicKey: async () => pubkey,
       signEvent: async (template: EventTemplate) =>
diff --git a/apps/web/src/stores/auth.ts b/apps/web/src/stores/auth.ts
index dc7a2e0..edb0038 100644
--- a/apps/web/src/stores/auth.ts
+++ b/apps/web/src/stores/auth.ts
@@ -11,6 +11,7 @@ export const useAuthStore = defineStore("auth", () => {
   const busy = ref(false);
 
   const isLoggedIn = computed(() => !!token.value);
+  const hasActiveSigner = computed(() => signer.activeSignerState.value !== null);
 
   async function loginExtension(): Promise<void> {
     error.value = null;
@@ -98,6 +99,7 @@ export const useAuthStore = defineStore("auth", () => {
     error,
     busy,
     isLoggedIn,
+    hasActiveSigner,
     loginExtension,
     loginBunker,
     loginRemoteApp,
diff --git a/apps/web/src/views/NostrCallbackView.vue b/apps/web/src/views/NostrCallbackView.vue
index bc7b658..1924c26 100644
--- a/apps/web/src/views/NostrCallbackView.vue
+++ b/apps/web/src/views/NostrCallbackView.vue
@@ -6,7 +6,16 @@ import { useAuthStore } from "../stores/auth";
 const auth = useAuthStore();
 const router = useRouter();
 
-onMounted(() => {
+onMounted(async () => {
+  if (auth.hasPendingRemoteAppLogin()) {
+    try {
+      await auth.resumeRemoteAppLogin();
+    } catch {
+      /* surfaced on the login screen if resume fails */
+    }
+    void router.replace({ name: auth.isLoggedIn ? "dashboard" : "login", query: auth.isLoggedIn ? {} : { remote: "return" } });
+    return;
+  }
   if (auth.isLoggedIn) {
     void router.replace({ name: "dashboard" });
     return;