// All user-facing copy. Lean into the futility — these are 4 hobby boards
// trying to hit a 1-in-quadrillions lottery. Take the piss with affection.

export const ROASTS: Record<string, string> = {
  nerdqaxe:     "wired together by a guy on Telegram. somehow still hashing.",
  bitaxe:       "single chip, single mum, one in 10²² odds. heart of gold.",
  "avalon-nano-3": "USB-stick miner. AliExpress's revenge on the network hashrate.",
  "avalon-mini-3": "the only one of you that pays for itself. don't get a big head.",
  unknown:      "we don't know what this is. we love it anyway.",
};

export const STATUS_LINES = {
  hashing: "hashing",
  stale:   "thinking real hard",
  idle:    "having a lie down",
};

export const LOTTERY_LINES = [
  (oddsPerDay: number) =>
    `today: ${formatPct(oddsPerDay)}. A rounding error wearing a cape.`,
  (oddsPerDay: number) =>
    `expected wait: ${humanYears(1 / Math.max(oddsPerDay, 1e-30) / 365)}. Your descendants' descendants will still be checking the fan noise.`,
  () =>
    `the math says no in every language, including ones we haven't invented yet.`,
  (oddsPerDay: number) =>
    `versus lightning today: ${ratioVsLightning(oddsPerDay)}x. Even the sky has a better business plan.`,
  () =>
    `four little heaters bullying SHA-256 and calling it a retirement strategy.`,
  () =>
    `every share is proof of work. Not useful work. Let's not get carried away.`,
  () =>
    `solo mining: where hope goes to become server logs.`,
  () =>
    `this is not financial advice. It is barely electrical advice.`,
];

export const BLOCK_CELEBRATION_LINES = [
  "WAIT. WHAT. CHECK THE LOG. YOU FOUND A — actually let me check that twice.",
  "no but seriously, one of these little boards just won the lottery.",
  "the network has been notified. so have your friends. so has god.",
];

export const STALE_LINES = [
  "hasn't submitted in a while. either thinking really hard or the breaker tripped.",
  "currently meditating. has been for some time.",
  "not dead, just resting. probably.",
];

function formatPct(p: number): string {
  if (!isFinite(p) || p <= 0) return "ε";
  if (p >= 0.01) return `${(p * 100).toFixed(4)}%`;
  return `${(p * 100).toExponential(2)}%`;
}

function humanYears(years: number): string {
  if (!isFinite(years)) return "forever";
  if (years < 1) return `${(years * 365).toFixed(1)} days`;
  if (years < 100) return `${years.toFixed(1)} years`;
  if (years < 1e6) return `${(years / 1e3).toFixed(1)} thousand years`;
  if (years < 1e9) return `${(years / 1e6).toFixed(1)} million years`;
  return `${(years / 1e9).toFixed(1)} billion years`;
}

function ratioVsLightning(oddsPerDay: number): string {
  const lightning = 0.00000028;
  const r = oddsPerDay / lightning;
  if (r < 0.001) return r.toExponential(1);
  if (r < 1) return r.toFixed(3);
  if (r < 1000) return r.toFixed(1);
  return r.toExponential(1);
}