Add network stats and rotating mining jokes

.env.example

@@ -25,6 +25,9 @@ DATUM_ADMIN_PASSWORD=
 # few seconds; 5s is a sane default.
 DATUM_POLL_INTERVAL_MS=5000
 
+# Sovereign mempool API used for block height, network hashrate, and difficulty.
+MEMPOOL_API_URL=https://tx1138.com/api
+
 # ---- Nostr auth ----
 # Comma-separated bech32 npubs allowed to log in. Anything else is rejected
 # at NIP-98 verification, before any session is issued.

apps/api/src/config.ts

@@ -15,6 +15,7 @@ const RawEnv = z.object({
   DATUM_ADMIN_USER: z.string().default("admin"),
   DATUM_ADMIN_PASSWORD: z.string().min(1),
   DATUM_POLL_INTERVAL_MS: z.coerce.number().int().min(1000).default(5000),
+  MEMPOOL_API_URL: z.string().url().default("https://tx1138.com/api"),
 
   NOSTR_ALLOWED_NPUBS: z.string().min(1),
 
@@ -57,6 +58,9 @@ export const config = {
     adminPassword: parsed.DATUM_ADMIN_PASSWORD,
     pollIntervalMs: parsed.DATUM_POLL_INTERVAL_MS,
   },
+  mempool: {
+    url: parsed.MEMPOOL_API_URL.replace(/\/$/, ""),
+  },
   nostr: {
     allowedHexPubkeys: parseAllowedNpubs(parsed.NOSTR_ALLOWED_NPUBS),
   },

apps/api/src/datum/poller.ts

@@ -2,7 +2,7 @@ import { config } from "../config.js";
 import { logger } from "../logger.js";
 import { digestFetch } from "./digest.js";
 import { parseClientsHtml, parseThreadsHtml } from "./parse.js";
-import type { CurrentJob, DatumSnapshot, PoolStat } from "./types.js";
+import type { CurrentJob, DatumSnapshot, NetworkStat, PoolStat } from "./types.js";
 
 const DEFAULT_TIMEOUT_MS = 10_000;
 
@@ -35,11 +35,19 @@ const EMPTY_JOB: CurrentJob = {
   timeInfo: "",
 };
 
+const EMPTY_NETWORK: NetworkStat = {
+  blockHeight: 0,
+  hashrateEh: 0,
+  difficulty: 0,
+  source: "",
+};
+
 let lastSnapshot: DatumSnapshot = {
   ok: false,
   fetchedAt: 0,
   pool: EMPTY_POOL,
   job: EMPTY_JOB,
+  network: EMPTY_NETWORK,
   miners: [],
   error: { code: "NOT_YET_POLLED", message: "Poller has not run yet" },
 };
@@ -85,6 +93,37 @@ function isUmbrelShellHtml(html: string): boolean {
   return /<title>\s*Umbrel\s*<\/title>/i.test(html) || /<div\s+id=["']root["']/i.test(html);
 }
 
+type MempoolHashrate = {
+  currentHashrate?: number;
+  currentDifficulty?: number;
+};
+
+async function fetchNetworkStats(): Promise<NetworkStat> {
+  const timeout = abortableSignal(DEFAULT_TIMEOUT_MS);
+  try {
+    const [heightRes, hashrateRes] = await Promise.all([
+      fetch(`${config.mempool.url}/blocks/tip/height`, { signal: timeout.signal }),
+      fetch(`${config.mempool.url}/v1/mining/hashrate/3d`, { signal: timeout.signal }),
+    ]);
+    if (!heightRes.ok || !hashrateRes.ok) {
+      throw new Error(`mempool returned ${heightRes.status}/${hashrateRes.status}`);
+    }
+    const [heightText, hashrateJson] = await Promise.all([
+      heightRes.text(),
+      hashrateRes.json() as Promise<MempoolHashrate>,
+    ]);
+    const blockHeight = Number(heightText);
+    return {
+      blockHeight: Number.isFinite(blockHeight) ? blockHeight : 0,
+      hashrateEh: (hashrateJson.currentHashrate ?? 0) / 1e18,
+      difficulty: hashrateJson.currentDifficulty ?? 0,
+      source: config.mempool.url,
+    };
+  } finally {
+    timeout.cancel();
+  }
+}
+
 async function pollOnce(): Promise<DatumSnapshot> {
   const fetchedAt = Date.now();
 
@@ -193,6 +232,12 @@ async function pollOnce(): Promise<DatumSnapshot> {
       threads.reduce((s, t) => s + t.connections, 0) || miners.length;
     const sharesAccepted = miners.reduce((s, m) => s + m.diffAcceptedCount, 0);
     const sharesRejected = miners.reduce((s, m) => s + m.diffRejectedCount, 0);
+    let network = lastSnapshot.network.blockHeight > 0 ? lastSnapshot.network : EMPTY_NETWORK;
+    try {
+      network = await fetchNetworkStats();
+    } catch (err) {
+      logger.warn({ reason: formatErr(err), url: config.mempool.url }, "mempool_fetch_failed");
+    }
 
     return {
       ok: true,
@@ -207,7 +252,12 @@ async function pollOnce(): Promise<DatumSnapshot> {
         sharesRejected,
         connectionStatus: "ok",
       },
-      job: EMPTY_JOB,
+      job: {
+        ...EMPTY_JOB,
+        blockHeight: network.blockHeight,
+        difficulty: network.difficulty,
+      },
+      network,
       miners,
     };
   } catch (err) {

apps/api/src/datum/types.ts

@@ -60,11 +60,19 @@ export type CurrentJob = {
   timeInfo: string;
 };
 
+export type NetworkStat = {
+  blockHeight: number;
+  hashrateEh: number;
+  difficulty: number;
+  source: string;
+};
+
 export type DatumSnapshot = {
   ok: boolean;
   fetchedAt: number;
   pool: PoolStat;
   job: CurrentJob;
+  network: NetworkStat;
   miners: MinerStat[];
   error?: { code: string; message: string };
 };

apps/web/src/components/LotteryWidget.vue

@@ -2,18 +2,17 @@
 import { computed, onMounted, onUnmounted, ref } from "vue";
 import { LOTTERY_LINES } from "../strings";
 
-const props = defineProps<{ totalThs: number }>();
+const props = defineProps<{ totalThs: number; networkEh: number }>();
 
-// As of mid-2026, network hashrate is roughly ~720 EH/s. Hardcoded estimate;
-// good enough for self-deprecating jokes about cosmic odds.
-const NETWORK_EH_S = 720;
+const FALLBACK_NETWORK_EH_S = 720;
 const SECONDS_PER_BLOCK = 600;
 const SECONDS_PER_DAY = 86400;
+const activeNetworkEh = computed(() => props.networkEh > 0 ? props.networkEh : FALLBACK_NETWORK_EH_S);
 
 const probPerBlock = computed(() => {
   if (props.totalThs <= 0) return 0;
   // Th/s vs EH/s = 1e6 conversion: 1 EH/s = 1e6 Th/s
-  return props.totalThs / (NETWORK_EH_S * 1e6);
+  return props.totalThs / (activeNetworkEh.value * 1e6);
 });
 
 const probPerDay = computed(() => {
@@ -44,6 +43,9 @@ const currentLine = computed(() => {
 <template>
   <section class="lottery panel">
     <div class="label">solo lottery odds</div>
+    <div class="source muted">
+      calculated against {{ activeNetworkEh.toFixed(0) }} EH/s network hashrate
+    </div>
     <div class="line glow-amber">
       <span class="prefix">$</span>
       <span class="text">{{ currentLine }}</span>
@@ -64,6 +66,9 @@ const currentLine = computed(() => {
   flex-direction: column;
   gap: 10px;
 }
+.source {
+  font-size: 10px;
+}
 .line {
   font-size: 13px;
   display: flex;

apps/web/src/components/MinerRace.vue

@@ -1,8 +1,15 @@
 <script setup lang="ts">
 import { computed } from "vue";
 import type { DatumSnapshot, HistoryPoint, MinerStat } from "../types";
+import { useRotatingCopy } from "../composables/useRotatingCopy";
+import { RACE_SCALE_NOTES, RACE_TITLES } from "../copy";
 
 const props = defineProps<{ snapshot: DatumSnapshot | null; history: HistoryPoint[] }>();
+const raceTitle = useRotatingCopy(RACE_TITLES);
+const scaleNote = useRotatingCopy(RACE_SCALE_NOTES, 7600);
+const networkEh = computed(() => props.snapshot?.network.hashrateEh ?? 0);
+const totalThs = computed(() => props.snapshot?.pool.combinedHashrateThs ?? 0);
+const networkMultiple = computed(() => networkEh.value > 0 && totalThs.value > 0 ? (networkEh.value * 1_000_000) / totalThs.value : 0);
 
 const rows = computed(() => {
   const miners = props.snapshot?.miners ?? [];
@@ -43,6 +50,28 @@ const rows = computed(() => {
   ];
 });
 
+const cosmicRows = computed(() => {
+  if (!networkEh.value || !totalThs.value) return [];
+  const totalNetworkThs = networkEh.value * 1_000_000;
+  const largePoolThs = totalNetworkThs * 0.25;
+  return [
+    {
+      key: "large-pool",
+      name: "Large pool-ish bully",
+      value: `${(largePoolThs / 1_000_000).toFixed(0)} EH/s`,
+      width: 78,
+      joke: "illustrative 25% chunk of the monster",
+    },
+    {
+      key: "network",
+      name: "Total Bitcoin network",
+      value: `${networkEh.value.toFixed(0)} EH/s`,
+      width: 100,
+      joke: `${networkMultiple.value.toExponential(2)}x your shelf. rude but factual.`,
+    },
+  ];
+});
+
 function minerKey(m: MinerStat): string {
   return m.nickname || m.authUsername || m.remoteHost;
 }
@@ -60,12 +89,13 @@ function imageFor(m: MinerStat): string {
     <header>
       <div>
         <div class="label">hashrate race</div>
-        <h2 class="glow-cyan">Tiny machines, deeply unfair track</h2>
+        <h2 class="glow-cyan">{{ raceTitle }}</h2>
       </div>
-      <span class="muted">ranked by current TH/s</span>
+      <span class="muted">{{ scaleNote }}</span>
     </header>
 
     <div class="track">
+      <div class="section-label">Actual miners</div>
       <div v-for="row in rows" :key="row.key" class="lane">
         <div class="rank">#{{ row.place }}</div>
         <img :src="row.image" :alt="row.miner.model" />
@@ -81,6 +111,25 @@ function imageFor(m: MinerStat): string {
           </div>
         </div>
       </div>
+
+      <div v-if="cosmicRows.length" class="section-label cosmic-label">
+        Big pools / total network · separate scale so the kids remain visible
+      </div>
+      <div v-for="row in cosmicRows" :key="row.key" class="lane cosmic">
+        <div class="rank">∞</div>
+        <div class="network-icon">₿</div>
+        <div class="runner">
+          <div class="meta">
+            <strong>{{ row.name }}</strong>
+            <span>{{ row.value }} · {{ row.joke }}</span>
+          </div>
+          <div class="bar cosmic-bar">
+            <span :style="{ width: `${row.width}%` }">
+              <i>NOPE</i>
+            </span>
+          </div>
+        </div>
+      </div>
     </div>
   </section>
 </template>
@@ -108,6 +157,17 @@ h2 {
   flex-direction: column;
   gap: 12px;
 }
+.section-label {
+  color: var(--neon-amber);
+  font-size: 10px;
+  text-transform: uppercase;
+  letter-spacing: 0.14em;
+  border-top: 1px solid var(--line);
+  padding-top: 10px;
+}
+.cosmic-label {
+  color: var(--neon-red);
+}
 .lane {
   display: grid;
   grid-template-columns: 46px 86px 1fr;
@@ -124,6 +184,16 @@ img {
   height: 58px;
   object-fit: contain;
 }
+.network-icon {
+  width: 58px;
+  height: 58px;
+  display: grid;
+  place-items: center;
+  border: 1px solid var(--neon-red);
+  color: var(--neon-amber);
+  font-size: 28px;
+  box-shadow: 0 0 14px rgba(255, 79, 120, 0.24);
+}
 .runner {
   min-width: 0;
 }
@@ -158,6 +228,12 @@ img {
   background: #475569;
   box-shadow: none;
 }
+.cosmic .bar span {
+  background: linear-gradient(90deg, #ff4f78, #ffd84a);
+}
+.cosmic .meta strong {
+  color: var(--neon-red);
+}
 .bar i {
   padding-right: 6px;
   color: #07090f;

apps/web/src/components/PoolHero.vue

@@ -1,14 +1,27 @@
 <script setup lang="ts">
 import { computed } from "vue";
 import type { DatumSnapshot } from "../types";
+import { useRotatingCopy } from "../composables/useRotatingCopy";
+import { BLOCK_LABELS, HASHRATE_LABELS, NETWORK_LABELS } from "../copy";
 
 const props = defineProps<{ snapshot: DatumSnapshot | null }>();
 
 const totalThs = computed(() => props.snapshot?.pool.combinedHashrateThs ?? 0);
+const networkEh = computed(() => props.snapshot?.network.hashrateEh ?? 0);
+const networkMultiple = computed(() => networkEh.value > 0 && totalThs.value > 0 ? (networkEh.value * 1_000_000) / totalThs.value : 0);
+const networkRoast = computed(() => {
+  if (!networkMultiple.value) return "waiting for the grown-up numbers";
+  if (networkMultiple.value > 20_000_000) return "the network is a freight train; this shelf is a polite cough.";
+  if (networkMultiple.value > 1_000_000) return "big miners brought warehouses; you brought character.";
+  return "we are briefly visible on the cosmic spreadsheet.";
+});
 const subscribed = computed(() => props.snapshot?.pool.totalSubscriptions ?? 0);
 const sharesAccepted = computed(() => props.snapshot?.pool.sharesAccepted ?? 0);
 const sharesRejected = computed(() => props.snapshot?.pool.sharesRejected ?? 0);
 const blockHeight = computed(() => props.snapshot?.job.blockHeight ?? 0);
+const hashrateLabel = useRotatingCopy(HASHRATE_LABELS);
+const blockLabel = useRotatingCopy(BLOCK_LABELS, 7200);
+const networkLabel = useRotatingCopy(NETWORK_LABELS, 7800);
 const ageS = computed(() => {
   const t = props.snapshot?.fetchedAt;
   if (!t) return null;
@@ -19,17 +32,26 @@ const ageS = computed(() => {
 <template>
   <section class="hero panel">
     <div class="left">
-      <div class="label">total hashrate · all 4 little soldiers</div>
+      <div class="label">{{ hashrateLabel }}</div>
       <div class="number glow-cyan">
         {{ totalThs.toFixed(2) }}
         <span class="unit">Th/s</span>
       </div>
+      <div class="network-roast muted">{{ networkRoast }}</div>
     </div>
     <div class="right">
       <div class="cell">
-        <div class="label">block height</div>
+        <div class="label">{{ blockLabel }}</div>
         <div class="value">{{ blockHeight > 0 ? blockHeight.toLocaleString() : "—" }}</div>
       </div>
+      <div class="cell">
+        <div class="label">{{ networkLabel }}</div>
+        <div class="value glow-amber">{{ networkEh > 0 ? `${networkEh.toFixed(0)} EH/s` : "—" }}</div>
+      </div>
+      <div class="cell">
+        <div class="label">network is bigger by</div>
+        <div class="value glow-red">{{ networkMultiple > 0 ? `${networkMultiple.toExponential(2)}x` : "—" }}</div>
+      </div>
       <div class="cell">
         <div class="label">subscribed</div>
         <div class="value">{{ subscribed }}</div>
@@ -67,9 +89,14 @@ const ageS = computed(() => {
   font-size: 18px;
   color: var(--fg-2);
 }
+.network-roast {
+  margin-top: 10px;
+  font-size: 11px;
+  line-height: 1.4;
+}
 .right {
   display: grid;
-  grid-template-columns: repeat(5, 1fr);
+  grid-template-columns: repeat(7, 1fr);
   gap: 12px;
 }
 .cell .value {

apps/web/src/components/Shameboard.vue

@@ -12,6 +12,8 @@ const SUBSIDY_SATS = 312_500_000;
 
 const miners = computed(() => props.snapshot?.miners ?? []);
 const totalThs = computed(() => props.snapshot?.pool.combinedHashrateThs ?? 0);
+const networkEh = computed(() => props.snapshot?.network.hashrateEh ?? 0);
+const networkMultiple = computed(() => networkEh.value > 0 && totalThs.value > 0 ? (networkEh.value * 1_000_000) / totalThs.value : 0);
 const totalWatts = computed(() => miners.value.reduce((sum, m) => sum + m.watts, 0));
 const rewardSats = computed(() => props.snapshot?.job.blockValueSats || SUBSIDY_SATS);
 const difficulty = computed(() => props.snapshot?.job.difficulty || 0);
@@ -212,6 +214,11 @@ function pct(n: number, digits = 4): string {
         <strong>{{ compact(totalWatts, 0) }} W</strong>
         <small>{{ compact(heatBtu, 0) }} BTU/hr · {{ compact(poolEfficiency, 4) }} TH/W</small>
       </div>
+      <div>
+        <span class="label">network bullying</span>
+        <strong class="glow-red">{{ networkMultiple > 0 ? `${networkMultiple.toExponential(2)}x` : "collecting" }}</strong>
+        <small>{{ networkEh > 0 ? `${compact(networkEh, 0)} EH/s globally. easy version: the planet brought a warehouse.` : "tx1138 mempool warming up" }}</small>
+      </div>
     </div>
 
     <div class="leader-strip">
@@ -294,7 +301,7 @@ h2 {
   letter-spacing: 0.08em;
 }
 .summary {
-  grid-template-columns: repeat(5, 1fr);
+  grid-template-columns: repeat(6, 1fr);
 }
 .summary > div,
 .leader-strip > div {

apps/web/src/composables/useRotatingCopy.ts

@@ -0,0 +1,18 @@
+import { computed, onMounted, onUnmounted, ref } from "vue";
+
+export function useRotatingCopy(lines: readonly string[], intervalMs = 6500) {
+  const index = ref(0);
+  let timer: number | null = null;
+
+  onMounted(() => {
+    timer = window.setInterval(() => {
+      index.value = (index.value + 1) % lines.length;
+    }, intervalMs);
+  });
+
+  onUnmounted(() => {
+    if (timer !== null) window.clearInterval(timer);
+  });
+
+  return computed(() => lines[index.value] ?? lines[0] ?? "");
+}

apps/web/src/copy.ts

@@ -0,0 +1,114 @@
+export const HASHRATE_LABELS = [
+  "total hashrate · all actual miners",
+  "tiny thunder department",
+  "hashing cupboard output",
+  "combined cope velocity",
+  "someone's getting warmed tonight",
+  "space heaters with receipts",
+  "four boards versus a planet",
+  "domestic sha-256 turbulence",
+  "the little engines that almost certainly won't",
+  "thermal optimism index",
+  "proof-of-warmth aggregate",
+  "hashrate, allegedly",
+  "tiny chips doing tax fraud to physics",
+  "the room is warmer than the odds",
+  "solo lottery horsepower",
+  "sats-per-delusion engine",
+  "garage-grade entropy cannon",
+  "pleb furnace output",
+  "all miners, no excuses",
+  "bitcoin-adjacent radiator speed",
+] as const;
+
+export const BLOCK_LABELS = [
+  "current block height",
+  "where bitcoin is right now",
+  "latest block on the wall",
+  "chain height, for the adults",
+  "block number the kids are chasing",
+  "global scoreboard tick",
+  "bitcoin's current floor",
+  "the moving target",
+  "height of the mountain",
+  "mempool says we're here",
+  "sovereign block receipt",
+  "latest confirmed step",
+  "chain altitude",
+  "block ladder position",
+  "what the node believes",
+  "today's impossible number",
+  "where the grown-up miners are",
+  "the target keeps walking",
+  "bitcoin's odometer",
+  "public humiliation height",
+] as const;
+
+export const NETWORK_LABELS = [
+  "network hashrate",
+  "the actual boss fight",
+  "everyone else, unfortunately",
+  "global mining industrial complex",
+  "the dragon outside",
+  "planetary sha-256 weather",
+  "big pool gravity",
+  "the reason this is funny",
+  "industrial-scale bullying",
+  "total network furnace",
+  "the adults with warehouses",
+  "hashrate landlord class",
+  "bitcoin's meat grinder",
+  "global chip argument",
+  "big miner misery wall",
+  "the mountain of nope",
+  "everyone versus your shelf",
+  "network-sized emotional damage",
+  "the pool hall full of monsters",
+  "the thing Boomer Heater fears",
+] as const;
+
+export const RACE_TITLES = [
+  "Tiny machines, deeply unfair track",
+  "Actual miners, spiritually overconfident",
+  "The cupboard grand prix",
+  "Drag race at walking speed",
+  "The hashrate kindergarten derby",
+  "Domestic miners doing their little laps",
+  "Four warm rectangles and a dream",
+  "Race day for the statistically doomed",
+  "The space-heater invitational",
+  "Actual miners, actual delusion",
+  "The tiny ASIC humiliation circuit",
+  "Tour de not-finding-a-block",
+  "Hashrate horse race, if horses were firmware",
+  "A sprint measured in geological disappointment",
+  "The nobody-is-retiring 500",
+  "Proof-of-work nursery slopes",
+  "The little rigs are trying, allegedly",
+  "Solo mining track day",
+  "The warm boys championship",
+  "Someone's getting warmed tonight",
+] as const;
+
+export const RACE_SCALE_NOTES = [
+  "actual miners · scaled up to not shame the children",
+  "scaled up so the children remain visible",
+  "visual mercy scale enabled",
+  "not to scale, because cruelty has limits",
+  "tiny miner zoom mode",
+  "chart wearing reading glasses",
+  "magnified for emotional support",
+  "scaled up like their confidence",
+  "warehouse miners cropped out for decency",
+  "child-safe hashrate scale",
+  "actual miners, padded for dignity",
+  "zoomed in before the network laughs",
+  "big pools excluded from the yardstick",
+  "scale adjusted to preserve morale",
+  "the children get a booster seat",
+  "mercifully not linear",
+  "visual participation trophy mode",
+  "shown larger than nature intended",
+  "small rig cinema mode",
+  "the graph lies kindly",
+] as const;

apps/web/src/strings.ts

@@ -32,6 +32,110 @@ export const LOTTERY_LINES = [
     `solo mining: where hope goes to become server logs.`,
   () =>
     `this is not financial advice. It is barely electrical advice.`,
+  () =>
+    `the fiat system is shaking, but not because of this. This is mostly fan noise.`,
+  () =>
+    `somewhere a central banker felt nothing at all.`,
+  () =>
+    `if this finds a block, check the logs, the stars, and whoever touched the thermostat.`,
+  () =>
+    `the orange pill was supposed to be freedom, not watching a desk fan beg for destiny.`,
+  () =>
+    `your odds are non-zero, which is how all terrible ideas get funding.`,
+  () =>
+    `the network difficulty looked at this rig and filed a noise complaint.`,
+  () =>
+    `proof of work? More like proof of warm.`,
+  () =>
+    `fiat dies slowly. This block attempt dies every ten minutes.`,
+  () =>
+    `the hash is strong. The probability is in witness protection.`,
+  () =>
+    `the IMF has not yet issued a statement about your 0.000000whatever percent chance.`,
+  () =>
+    `solo mining is just buying a lottery ticket that also heats the hallway.`,
+  () =>
+    `the block reward remains technically available, like buried treasure on Mars.`,
+  () =>
+    `every rejected share is a tiny central bank meeting with worse catering.`,
+  () =>
+    `some call it sovereign mining. Others call it an elaborate way to run a heater.`,
+  () =>
+    `the machines are awake. The odds are legally dead.`,
+  () =>
+    `if math had a face, it would be avoiding eye contact.`,
+  () =>
+    `hash harder, little toaster. The empire will not dismantle itself.`,
+  () =>
+    `Bitcoin is permissionless, including permission to embarrass yourself electrically.`,
+  () =>
+    `your miners are attacking fiat with the force of a damp receipt.`,
+  () =>
+    `the conspiracy is real: the big pools have more ASICs than your shelf.`,
+  () =>
+    `this is how monetary revolution sounds when it has a 40mm fan.`,
+  () =>
+    `the Cantillon effect remains undefeated by the cupboard.`,
+  () =>
+    `the nonce search continues. So does the comedy.`,
+  () =>
+    `somewhere, Satoshi is either proud or changing the Wi-Fi password.`,
+  () =>
+    `the chance is small enough to qualify as abstract art.`,
+  () =>
+    `mining a block today would be less prediction, more paranormal incident.`,
+  () =>
+    `these rigs are not decentralizing power. They are decentralizing warmth.`,
+  () =>
+    `the mempool sees you. It is trying not to laugh.`,
+  () =>
+    `fiat printers go brrr. Your fan goes whrrr. Guess who has better margins.`,
+  () =>
+    `today's block odds have been forwarded to the Ministry of Delusion.`,
+  () =>
+    `the network hashrate is a dragon. You brought teaspoons.`,
+  () =>
+    `this is sovereign self-custody of disappointment.`,
+  () =>
+    `if a block appears, assume divine intervention or a rounding bug.`,
+  () =>
+    `monetary debasement is tragic. This rig's odds are slapstick.`,
+  () =>
+    `your ASICs are yelling at SHA-256 through a letterbox.`,
+  () =>
+    `the pools have warehouses. You have vibes and a power strip.`,
+  () =>
+    `a beautiful act of rebellion, if rebellion paid in almost nothing.`,
+  () =>
+    `the block subsidy is safe from you for now.`,
+  () =>
+    `hashing like this is how you whisper at a volcano.`,
+  () =>
+    `the odds are dark, but at least the room isn't cold.`,
+  () =>
+    `fiat friends buy heaters. You bought statistically complicated heaters.`,
+  () =>
+    `the nonce lottery has reviewed your application and placed it under a very large pile.`,
+  () =>
+    `this is not a get-rich-quick scheme. It is barely a get-warm-slowly scheme.`,
+  () =>
+    `the global banking cartel remains untroubled by this particular fan curve.`,
+  () =>
+    `somebody said "be your own bank" and now the shelf is making whale noises.`,
+  () =>
+    `the blockchain is immutable. So is the humiliation.`,
+  () =>
+    `your chance is smaller than a politician's apology and twice as expensive to heat.`,
+  () =>
+    `the rig believes. The spreadsheet has concerns.`,
+  () =>
+    `mining solo is what happens when optimism discovers electricity.`,
+  () =>
+    `the odds are so low they qualify as a privacy feature.`,
+  () =>
+    `keep stacking sats. These machines are mostly stacking anecdotes.`,
+  () =>
+    `the revolution will be decentralized, but apparently not profitable today.`,
 ];
 
 export const BLOCK_CELEBRATION_LINES = [

apps/web/src/types.ts

@@ -49,11 +49,19 @@ export type CurrentJob = {
   timeInfo: string;
 };
 
+export type NetworkStat = {
+  blockHeight: number;
+  hashrateEh: number;
+  difficulty: number;
+  source: string;
+};
+
 export type DatumSnapshot = {
   ok: boolean;
   fetchedAt: number;
   pool: PoolStat;
   job: CurrentJob;
+  network: NetworkStat;
   miners: MinerStat[];
   error?: { code: string; message: string };
 };

apps/web/src/views/DashboardView.vue

@@ -14,6 +14,7 @@ onMounted(() => stats.start());
 onUnmounted(() => stats.stop());
 
 const totalThs = computed(() => stats.snapshot?.pool.combinedHashrateThs ?? 0);
+const networkEh = computed(() => stats.snapshot?.network.hashrateEh ?? 0);
 const miners = computed(() => stats.snapshot?.miners ?? []);
 const errorMsg = computed(() => stats.error);
 const upstreamErr = computed(() => stats.snapshot?.error);
@@ -84,7 +85,7 @@ function minerKey(m: { nickname: string; authUsername: string; remoteHost: strin
   </section>
 
   <div class="grid-row">
-    <LotteryWidget :total-ths="totalThs" />
+    <LotteryWidget :total-ths="totalThs" :network-eh="networkEh" />
     <ShareTicker :snapshot="stats.snapshot" />
   </div>
 

docker-compose.yml

@@ -33,6 +33,7 @@ services:
       DATUM_ADMIN_USER: "${DATUM_ADMIN_USER:-admin}"
       DATUM_ADMIN_PASSWORD: "${DATUM_ADMIN_PASSWORD?must be set}"
       DATUM_POLL_INTERVAL_MS: "${DATUM_POLL_INTERVAL_MS:-5000}"
+      MEMPOOL_API_URL: "${MEMPOOL_API_URL:-https://tx1138.com/api}"
       NOSTR_ALLOWED_NPUBS: "${NOSTR_ALLOWED_NPUBS?must be set}"
       JWT_SECRET: "${JWT_SECRET?must be set}"
       JWT_TTL_SECONDS: "${JWT_TTL_SECONDS:-86400}"